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polson
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 11:56
Reply
I suppose I've been reading a lot lately and thinking about this. Where do you find your value? And I don't just mean in what you SAY you find your value, but what you really honestly put the weight on. It's not easy to identify sometimes because we don't like to admit, "I don't feel valued unless people like my hair," because it seems so shallow and empty. But really, if someone were to tell you your hair was ugly and you responded hurt, or in defense, that's an indicator that you in some small way, feel valued or unvalued by what others think of your hair.
So...where's your value?
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 15:16
Reply
 Polson had an intelligent thought?  Maybe we should have a parade.
So really you are asking what gives us the biggest feeling of self worth. I'm not really one for over analysing "the self" but I'll give it a go. And yes I'm shallow and I like it that way.
The single biggest thing that makes me feel valued is when people compliment or admire my golf swing. I also get some sense value from being able to upset people by saying mean things (does that make me a bad person?). Other than that, I think we all rely upon others for positive reinforcement to some extent.
Praise from anyone, especially people we look up to is always nice.
Notice "Compliment" not "Complement" which is a totally different word. Why do I feel the need to point this stuff out? It probably is relevantish to this topic.
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lzrman
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 17:22
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I find value also when people compliment my hard work in real life and at work. Having people critisize and warn me for not doing something right, they could help me get out of that hole.
Recently someone complimented me on a task i did not do so hot a t and actually refered me to help another associate at work at the same task that i did not accomplish well.
I Value the Respect from people to give one a chance.
Lzrman
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michiel
Moderator
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 17:59
Reply
I feel valued when people buy me a beer.
And that's as serious an answer as you'll ever get from me. =D
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shaker
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 19:07
Reply
<!--QuoteBegin--michiel+July 21 2005,17:59--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (michiel @ July 21 2005,17:59)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->I feel valued when people buy me a beer.<br><br>And that's as serious an answer as you'll ever get from me. =D<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br>*buys PV a beer with PV's own credit card* <!--emo&:k--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/mad.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':k'><!--endemo-->
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lzrman
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 19:58
Reply
Shakes, u been pickin Michiels pocket?!
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kittykat
Member
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# Posted: 21 Jul 2005 22:55
Reply
Someone gave Michiel a credit card?!
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jd
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2005 07:59
Reply
Someone gave Shaker hands?
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michiel
Moderator
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2005 08:45
Reply
Yeah, I don't have a credit card. GG. =|
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2005 10:11
Reply
I'm more worried about the fact that Shaker's been rumaging around in Michiel's pants.
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michiel
Moderator
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2005 10:30
Reply
I, too, am worried. Just not surprised.
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 22 Jul 2005 20:46
Reply
Oh yes. NICOLL! *smack, smack*
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2005 10:14
Reply
I feel valued when Polson hits me for making smart-arsed comments. 
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kevkc
Member
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2005 10:52
Reply
When I can see that I'm making someone smile...
And when I get a hug.
I'm all about the hugs.
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 3 Aug 2005 11:28
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I'm finding it hard to resist the temptation to hug KC now 
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sg8472
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 07:33
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When I'm with people who take me for who I am. People who you know you can call friends. I always have the most fun then.
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 11:56
Reply
So here's my question...what happens when these things inevidibly fail you? When the things you derive your value from suddenly fail to validate you?
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christena
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 13:32
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you plunge into a deep depression,gain 75 pounds and become what you thought they thought of you.....
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 14:04
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well I used to go skydiving but now I just post stupid comments about Polson in these forums.
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demonvamp
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 18:38
Reply
My value is in my health. When I don't have that, none of the rest matters one little bit.
QD, ouch.
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 4 Aug 2005 19:02
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My sense of significance and security does not rest in what Nicoll says.
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2005 01:24
Reply
Ok first, its "My significance and security DO not..."
Second, I didn't say I did it for you Pols, my comments are purely for my sake
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katrina
Moderator
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2005 08:30
Reply
Actually, in that sentence: "My sense of significance and security does not rest in what Nicoll says," "of significance and security" is merely a prepositional phrase, so the actual subject is "sense," therefore agreeing in number with the verb.
Sorry. Do that for a living.
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smile
Member
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2005 10:03
Reply
Ditto to QD, I value my health over most other things in my life. People often ask me why I am so happy all the time and my response has always been that I am living, breathing, and not hurting. I try to always keep that in mind so I can let the little bumps in the road not bother me. 
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2005 21:51
Reply
<!--QuoteBegin--katrina+Aug. 05 2005,08:30--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (katrina @ Aug. 05 2005,08:30)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->Actually, in that sentence: "My sense of significance and security does not rest in what Nicoll says," "of significance and security" is merely a prepositional phrase, so the actual subject is "sense," therefore agreeing in number with the verb.<br><br>Sorry. Do that for a living.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br>*g* Thank you Katrina. It's nice to know someone around here appreciates my grammatical skills. (I was going to say powress, but I don't really know how to spell that and it would ruin the effect.)<br><br><br>More over, Nicoll it wouldn't have mattered how you intended it. We are very often making judgements about other peoples judgements, regardless of whether or not our conclusions are founded in reality. You may never intend for someone to derive their worth from your opinions, but they may do so anyway, and in all likely hood currently are. My mother goes into shock when someone drops by the house unexpected, even if it's quite clean, for fear that they may see her dust or dirt and make a decision on who she is as a person based on that. In reality, everyone's too busy being wowed by how amazing their house is to even notice dirt, and even if they did, they'd probably be thinking, "wow, that is a nice antique table underneath that dirt, Kathleen sure has an eye for art!"<br><br>My end game in this thread is simply to cause at least one person somewhere to realize all the petty things in life they allow to define them as an individual, and how utterly crushing it is when those things fail them, and hopefully inspire them to see past the world and begin to seek something that will truly never fail to validate them. Because in reality, you could be paralized from the neck down in a car accident, your best friend could betray you by accident, or a family member who got you through the worst of life die, or you could lose the pet that was there for you when no one else was. Your grades could go in the tank, your car could break down on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. The people in your life who you should've been able to trust may abuse you, abandon you, hurt you.<br><br> I suppose it weighs heavily on my own mind because I am slowly begining to pick apart my heart and mind and realizing, "Hey, when my mom gets on me, sure it hurts, but what she says about me, and what she thinks about me means nothing about who I really am, therefore I can react in love and not some inate desire to defend myself." And I say all this because I believe it's important for people to realize not only what they've been putting their value in and how it's not going to truly give them what they want, but also because I believe there IS something out there that CAN fulfill us.<br><br>And yet, if everyone thinks I'm an idiot for this unusual line of thought, lol, I am safe and secure in the knowledge of who I am and will not be offended or disuaded.
<br><br><!--EDIT|polson|Aug. 05 2005,22:15-->
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nicoll
Member
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# Posted: 5 Aug 2005 23:11
Reply
My point was not really meant to be gramatical, but I was lazy and stupid in the way I made it (nothing new there).
What I meant was that a 'sense of significance and security' cannot really be singular since security and significance are not dependant upon each other. So logically it is 2 seperate senses, but since I made my point in such a clumsy incorrect way I'm going to let it go. It's like saying 'my sense of smell and hearing'. At least that's the way my brain works when reading it.
I bow to katrina's superiority.
And acctually I agree with most of what Pols said . I do look at it a bit different tho. I just don't care what anyone else thinks. Other people's opinions of me don't matter, just like my opinions of me don't matter. The way I see it everyone is wrong all the time, you just have to laugh at it.
I believe the word is prowess but I can't be sure since I have no prowess. I also prefer the word powress, it just sounds sexier.
And now you've wasted my only serious thought of the day.  
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katrina
Moderator
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# Posted: 6 Aug 2005 13:23
Reply
I actually thought that's what you may have meant, nicoll, but upon analyzing this entire thread I saw for Polson the two things ARE singular, so...
And prowess is the word, but I agree there's something to the non-word "powress" that sounds good.
Also, I've gotten to that place where I just stopped caring what people think too. I am who I am, and if you don't like it, oh well too bad. Interestingly, the meaner I am to someone, the more he/she seems to like me.
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deanna
Member
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# Posted: 6 Aug 2005 18:50
Reply
*looks up at Kat*
I'm not there yet....
I don't think I value to many folks opinions, but I do feel the sting to easily I guess.
I currently can't answer the value question, I'm not in the mood for debate.
I was just noting, I've not yet been able to overcome others opinions.
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 7 Aug 2005 08:19
Reply
Nicoll, Katrina...I see your point, for me both are intertwined, but also seperate. They run hand in hand, unlike your nose and your ears. I stand by my grammer.
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sg8472
Member
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# Posted: 8 Aug 2005 08:53
Reply
I've noticed that Nicoll and Pols continually overrun threads with their love-hate relationship thing. I want them to win the cutest couple at the OTF voting booth
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