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zilette
Member
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# Posted: 8 Oct 2003 09:28
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1.) Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them.
2.) Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."
3.) Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4.) Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
5.) All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6.) All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7.) Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
8.) Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
9.) Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
10.) No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flash-ing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11.) A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
12.) Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
13.) Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to every-body!
14.) Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15.) True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."
16.) True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
17.) Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
18.) When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
19.) Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea un-sweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
20.) A true Southerner knows that if you are with a couple of friends, you could be with 2 or 10. The number doesn't matter.
21.) And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
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cowhunter
Member
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# Posted: 9 Oct 2003 13:40
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That's the honest truth...and I've had number 14 happen quite often! Be savin' your Confederate money...the South's gonna rise again!
Yankees: 1
Confederates: 0
Halftime!!
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rag451
Member
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# Posted: 9 Oct 2003 20:24
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Believe it or not, they're all true. Really. I mean, I've lived just about all of them at some point or another.
Robert Griffith
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zilette
Member
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2003 05:49
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Bless your heart Robert! *g*
It is with love and admiration that I joke but in all honesty I love my Southern Friends as much as the Northern.
We each have that uniqueness that certainly can let go to a smile.
Have to admit 21 is my favorite and the reason is I came from DC area with the Beltway and located here in TN. I used to be all uptight cause the farmers went so slow you get stuck behind a truck doing 20 and you find yourself cussing and yelling. But hey I learned...we still get there and it isn't worth getting your knickers in a bunch.
Bless our Differences with a smile.
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rag451
Member
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# Posted: 12 Oct 2003 08:32
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22.) Always wave to the tractors you pass on the highway; they're the boys that bring all yo'r food to the table!
Can't count how many times I've been rollin' down the highway, major highways this would be, when I'll spot some farmer on his old tractor a hobblin' along at not even twenty mile an hour. Always wearin' their hats, too! All you can do is grin, throw a hearty wave out your window, and go 'round them nice and slow.
Robert Griffith
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rpmobsession
Member
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# Posted: 15 Oct 2003 03:03
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*buma* Great, true list Zilette!
-RPM
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aeon
Member
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# Posted: 6 Jan 2007 10:14
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What about the whole bacon and cheese in hot cocoa thing? 
Uuh, I have a certain feeling, that I'm mixing up things again. 
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christena
Member
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# Posted: 6 Jan 2007 10:29
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Ya''ll from other places just don't know how true these are*L*
and Annie... yes dear.. you mixed them up again
~The Resident Southern Belle 
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candyshop
Member
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# Posted: 6 Jan 2007 14:43
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My dads from Tennessee... sadly... these are true...
Plus I've been to "Illiana" and I wasn't scared.
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babel
Member
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# Posted: 9 Jan 2007 09:11
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I need to put in the English twopennyworth in the difference between southerners and northerners over here.
The main difference is northerners are warm, funny and well hard and southerners are a bunch of big jessies
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skevington
Member
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# Posted: 9 Jan 2007 11:50
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As a Somerset man, i have to resent that. 
Dmitri
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babel
Member
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# Posted: 9 Jan 2007 14:41
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<!--QuoteBegin--skevington+Jan. 09 2007,11:50--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (skevington @ Jan. 09 2007,11:50)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->As a Somerset man, i have to resent that. <!--emo&:P--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/ton.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':P'><!--endemo--> <br><br>Dmitri<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br>heh-heh! Someone bit! <!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/win.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo--><br><br>As a Somerset man you're exempt, Lee. Your fine county spawned scrumpy and the mighty Wurzels <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/haw.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo--><br><br>AND at one point your county cricket team boasted Ian Botham, Viv Richards and Joel 'Big Bird' Garner! <!--emo&:?--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/srp.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':?'><!--endemo-->
<br><br><!--EDIT|babel|Jan. 09 2007,14:41-->
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skevington
Member
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# Posted: 10 Jan 2007 09:30
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Ah, everyone loves the scrumpy. Not so sure if i would ever describe the Wurzels as "mighty" though. 
On another note, i live in the same town Ian Botham did and even went to the same school, a long long time ago,
Dmitri
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cmdr_worf
Member
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# Posted: 11 Jan 2007 14:14
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<!--QuoteBegin--babel+Jan. 09 2007,09:11--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (babel @ Jan. 09 2007,09:11)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->I need to put in the English twopennyworth in the difference between southerners and northerners over here.<br><br>The main difference is northerners are warm, funny and well hard and southerners are a bunch of big jessies <!--emo&;)--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/win.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=';)'><!--endemo--><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br><!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/haw.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/haw.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/haw.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo--> <!--emo&:D--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/haw.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'><!--endemo-->
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 11 Jan 2007 19:22
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I'm from alberta. I know a cow when I see it. *points at dmitri*
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skevington
Member
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# Posted: 15 Jan 2007 15:34
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Are you implying i'm a cow?
Dmitri
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polson
Member
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# Posted: 15 Jan 2007 16:15
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My comments and my actions may or may not be directly related.
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lima_
Member
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# Posted: 15 Jan 2007 19:18
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I love both Northerners and Southerners. British, American, whatever.
And as a border-state Marylander American, I can say that about half of these have happened to me. I can also say I'm shaking my head and laughing at the other half.
~ A Border-State Resident
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