lupus
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# Posted: 20 Apr 2006 04:47
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My newest work assignment was to visit a Gallery and write a review on the currant exhibition. And it was going to be the Portland Gallery in London. Yay! A day out...
But let me tall you what really happened. And it’s all true. I have the train ticket and sore feet to prove it.
It all started when I arrived a Green Park tube station at 0930 Tuesday morning. I was feeling a little grouchy cos I had had to get up really very very early to catch a train into London and I hadn’t had time for breakfast. It was when I got to Green Park that I realized that I had left my map of London and directions to the Portland Gallery at home. No problem... I got directions..... except that they were wrong. Spent and hour wandering the streets getting very lost. Plus I felt totally out of place since it was an incredibly posh area of Green Park. Loitering outside of D&G and Tiffany .Co was not a good idea. I txted a load of people… all of which could not help me. (And you people know who you are!!!! ) I had to resort to asking traffic wardens for directions!
I made it to the Portland Gallery! Yay! Look out for my review of the Jack Vettriano exhibition at the Portland Gallery coming soon
Things started to look up from there. I made it to London Bridge where I thought I could take a nice easy stroll over to the Tate Modern, looking in on the Hayward Gallery and getting lunch on the way, since I was starving by that time. My total food consumption that day being 345ml of Coke Cola.
BUT
This is what happened…. I then proceeded to spend 4 hours walking around the back streets of London. Very lost. I saw no busses or taxis. Hit a grand total of 9 dead ends. Walked through a really scary deserted dockyard warehouse place with burnt out cars, and rubbish bins in the middle of the street and boarded up houses and pub. That was scary. So scary in fact that when I head the distinctive sound of a train, I ran... and didn’t stop until I found the blasted tube station.
It appears I had managed to walk from London bridge all the way to Rotherhithe... in other words, I had come out of the wrong exit at London bridge and just kept walking... for 3 bloody miles!!! But wait…. That’s 3 miles as the crow flies…. The number of times I doubled back or just found myself walking down the same street again, or the one time I tried to find a main street and got my self lost in a council estate… I think we can safely say that I must have walked 4 or 5 miles. It was boiling hot and I had a very big coat on. As you can imagine, I wasn’t feeling that great.
Thus, I find myself back at London Bridge again. This time I make it safely to the Hayward Gallery and the Tate Modern. I couldn’t get lost again… could I?.......
Now for the really embarrassing one. I got lost in an art installation
The turbine hall of the Tate Modern is now Rachel Whiterbread's Embankment, part of the Unileaver Series. Basically thousands of plastic boxes pilled up in heaps. And there are Thousands! Its fills the hall.... and yes, I got lost wondering round it. The piles are so high I couldn’t see a way out. It was by pure coincidence that I stumbled on an exit.
Not only that, but when I finally managed to get home, I was so ill that I went straight to bed. My total consumption for that day remained at the one can of coke I had in the morning. I do not recommend it. Believe me. I had to get up in the middle of the night to eat something.
Moral of the story…. Always take a Map with you to London…. And a GPS system is even better.
Coming soon:
The Portland Gallerys JACK VETTRIANO EXHIBITION
}}Love, Devotion and Surrender
The Tate Moderns TACITA DEAN EXHIBITION
}}The Roaring Forites
The Hayward Gallerys DAN GRAHAM INSTALLATION
}} Waterloo Sunset at the Hayward Gallery
Lupus (CL6)
Gateway Team Leader
Gossip Board Gossiper
Artists Guild Artist
Star Wars the Dark Times- Cast and Crew Member
>The original OTF Pirate and on the scene reporter
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