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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 12 May 2003 08:09
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Greetings fight fans!
The people that brought you the Star Trek: Deathmatch/Games forum thread have decided to bring the fight to the Star Wars universe with the same witty, albeit cheesy, and good-natured fun for your entertainment purposes. Matchups are being finalized and they will be posted shortly. As soon as the participants are choosen and the battle begun, we will begin to take bets.
Stay tuned to the impending battles...who will take it, the Light Side, or the Dark Side, Republic/Rebels, or Imperials?, or will an underdog smuggler, bounty hunter, or some other strange sentient being take the title of Star Wars: "Deathmatch" champion?
Watch this thread and participation is strongly encouraged!
CT
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 14 May 2003 07:34
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Greetings Star Wars and fight fans!
Thank you all for your patience as we have crossed time and space to bring these combatants together.
So without further ado we will go to our announcers, Fodesinbeed, also known as Fode and Beed, the two-headed Troig who were the former announcers of the Boonta Eve podraces on Tatooine and has since moved on to many other sporting events across the galaxy. Take it away guys!
Fode - Welcome fight fans to the Ultimate Grudgematch! My partner Beed will be translating in Huttese for our sponsors, the Hutts!!!! Let us give them our heartfelt appreciation and applause!
*crowd roars and applauds wildly*
The various Hutt clans and organizations have put their differences aside and have pooled their resources to provide us with the arena facilities, a fund for the combatants' families should they expire in the course of the games, and concession stands which a portion of the profit will go to a "charity" of their choice...
*crowd applaudes*
The methods of how these beings arrived here is still a mystery, and hopefully we will be able to determine the cause......rumor has it a strange humanoid brought them in a blue, box-shaped transport of some sort, but we have yet to confirm these reports. We have also heard about a "disturbance in the Force" but our wonderful Hutt sponsors assure us that everything is legitimate and well within the boundaries of honorable combat.
*Beed shrugs and takes a sip of his drink once he is done translating to Huttese.*
Here is the first round of the Ultimate Star Wars Grudgematch!
Battle of the Force:
- Mace Windu vs. Anakin Skywalker (Aotc)
- Count Dooku vs. Yoda (rematch)
- Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Qui Gon Jinn
- Darth Sidious vs. Darth Maul
- Luke Skywalker vs. Darth Vader
- Kyle Katarn vs. Corran Horn
- Emperor Palpatine vs. a mystery combatant
Battle of the Sidekicks:
- Chewbacca vs. Jar Jar Binks
- R2D2 vs. Corran Horn's R2 droid, "Whistler"
- C3PO vs. Lobot
Wildcard Match: (pun intended)
- Han Solo vs. Lando Calrissian (sabbacc extravaganza match)
Bounty Hunter Battle
- Boba Fett vs. 4LOM
- Dengar vs. Bossk
- Zuckuss vs. IG88
Army Battle
- Gungan Grand Army vs. the Ewoks
- Trade Federation Battle Droids vs. Clonetroopers
- Stormtroopers vs. Rebel Troopers
Space Battle
- Grand Admiral Thrawn vs. Admiral Akbar
- Wedge Antillies vs. Red Leader
- Jek Porkins vs. Biggs Darklighter
- Derek "Hobbie" Klivian vs. Baron Soontir Fel
Women of Star Wars Battle:
- Princess Leia Organa vs. Mon Mothma (political debate)
- Shmi Skywalker vs. Padme Amidala
- Winter vs. Ysanne Isard
- Mara Jade vs. Jaina Solo
- Jan Orrs vs. Admiral Daala
We will also include many surprises and other interesting twists, so stay tuned, cheer your favorites on, and please no nit-picking and negative comments. This is strictly for entertainment purposes only...the bookies have opened their windows and the bidding has begun! Let the battle begin!!!!
CT
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alec
Member
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# Posted: 14 May 2003 08:37
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Go Han!!! *waves pompoms and cheers wildly*
And everyone knows Boba Fett will kick 4-LOM's butt 
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babel
Member
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# Posted: 15 May 2003 03:26
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' Space Traffic control, I need to land immediately. I have rather an, erm, boisterous number of passengers on board. '
'Transmit your clearance code for shield deactivation.'
The Doctor frowned. Clearance code? This seemed strikingly familiar. The TARDIS was hanging in space, in orbit around a particularly non-descript planet. He activated the main scanner for a look outside and was startled to see a Star Destroyer looming over him. The Hutts really did have money to burn if they could afford one of those ships.
'Hello, I don't have a clearance code I'm afraid. '
'In that case, turn your ship around immediately and . . .'
'ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!'
'What was that?'
The Doctor replied sheepishly, 'Those boisterous passengers I mentioned. One of them has just had his right leg hacked off.'
'You have a violent cargo and no permit. Therefore we are opening fire!'
The Doctor knew he shouldn't have taken this little job on. The previous misison to deliver Deathmatch participants had been relatively simple; time scoop the combatants into the TARDIS, land, pick them up later. Easy! This lot, however . . .
. . .well, frankly they had been downright badly-behaved. The Doctor had seen better manners in a sabacc den. Even the normally calm Jedi had lost their collective cool and were drawn in a defensice circle, sabers drawn, faces set in scowls. The Bounty Hunters had kicked it all off (literally) and it had been constant mayhem ever since.
Luckily, the TARDIS interior operated in a state of temporal grace and any injuries were gone within moments (even fatalities were non-fatal within minutes), yet this had only increased the violence as the disparate parties battled away,unable to die and gleefully taking advantage of this 'freedom'.
The Doctor had lost all patience and wanted nothing more than to drop the terrible lot off, but an uppity Controller was making this very difficult.
'Look, ' the Doctor said, a touch of impatience creeping into his voice, 'either you let me land or I'll bypass your shields anyway. It's your choice. '
The answer came in an eyeblink as every turbolaser on the Star Destroyer opened fire simultaneously. The Doctor tutted as the energy washed off the hull of the TARDIS.
'Right. Bypassing the shields it is! '
The TARDIS dematerialised, leaving behind a very confused Star Destroyer crew.
'Did we get it? I think we got it. '
'We must have. Didn't we? Erm . . . have we got any chocolate biscuits left? '
--------------------------
In a dark tunnel on the planet below, the TARDIS materialised. The doors opened immediately and a motley group of figures emerged. When the last one was out, the doors swung shut, not entirely blotting out a cry from within of ' . . and DON'T come back!' The TARDIS disappeared once more, leaving the group in the care of the Marshalls.
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katy8439
Member
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# Posted: 15 May 2003 06:10
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*waves a "Go Ewoks, Go!" Poster and a big Foam hand*
I do hope Jar Jar Binks Gets it! Go Chewie! Go Ewoks!
Katy
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anth
Member
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# Posted: 16 May 2003 02:41
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Go Grand Admiral Thrawn! Go!....i hope i can drop the formalities. That is a right mouthful to cheer if he goes all the way!  He's studying Mon Calamari artwork as we speak! My advice is. Run at Ackbar head on! his eyes are on the side of his head...go for the blind spot!  ....glad this battle is taking place in space. Cos they both have such nice white suits. It would have been a real shame to see either one get dirty and dusty.
can we also have "Lumpy" (chewies son). from SW holiday special. versus several hungry Rancors?
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 16 May 2003 09:17
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Good day fight fans and welcome to the Smuggler's Moon Superdome here on Nar Shadda! This is where several of our matchups will take place. We will also move to other remote locations across the galaxy as the games progress. The Holonet Sporting Network will broadcast all of the matches galaxy-wide, so lets get started...take it away Fode and Beed!
*holocams pan up to the announcers box*
Fode and Beed clear their throats and make a few announcements about the rules of the matchups (that there are none), and ask for civilized conduct from the spectators...weapons fire from the stands will not be permitted, etc... after a few sponsorship advertisements have been made they start to get the crowd worked up into a frenzy as the arena marshalls lead the first two combatants into the arena.
We are going to begin with the Women’s battle! “Ladies first” as the human expression goes…Hopefully the Empire will take some notes here as the female of the species can be just as ferocious and filled with violent rage as the males since the Imps prefer human males in their military and political occupations over women and non-humans…
Our first match is: *dramatic pause*
Jan Ors vs. Admiral Daala!!!!
*the rebels and Imperial roar in approval for their respective woman warrior*
Okay Bede, lets give a quick summary of both contestants!
*Bede nods as he translates in Huttese *
Jan Ors – “an Alliance operative used heavily during the early years of the Galactic Civil War, Jan Ors was a native of the planet Alderaan. She learned to dance from her mother, who worked as a choreographer for Alderaan's premier ballet company. She learned how to work on starships from her father, who was an aerospace engineer. During a mission aboard the Star of Empire, Jan was captured by the Empire when her cover was blown. Imprisoned without hope, she found an ear to bend when she met Kyle Katarn. Realizing Kyle's ambivalence toward the Empire, she cultivated a relationship with him until he agreed to help her escape from the prison. When they finally escaped, Jan Ors met with Mon Mothma and persuaded the Alliance leader to hire Kyle Katarn as a mercenary and commando.”
Admiral Daala – “This woman served as an Imperial Navy Admiral (the only female in any Imperial command position), and was in charge of the Maw Installation during the height of the New Order. She was educated at the Academy on Carida, and excelled at everything her teachers could throw at her. Unfortunately, being female in the Imperial Navy meant that she was constantly overlooked for promotions and awards. This angered her, but she struck back silently, creating an alter ego for herself in the Academy's computers. Her alias quickly became known as one of the Empire's brightest naval minds, and even Grand Moff Tarkin took notice. When he arrived at Carida to take this military prodigy under his wing, he was stymied by the fact that the physical person did not exist. He dug deeper into the computer records and discovered Daala's ruse. Though he was Imperial to the core, Tarkin realized that her genius could not be wasted any longer. He took Daala with him as a personal attaché, and promoted her in the field. Her promotion to Admiral was presented by Grand Moff Tarkin, and Palpatine may have been unaware of it. She was placed in command of the small fleet guarding the Maw Installation, where she stayed for ten years, cut off from the outside galaxy."
(Info provided from www.theforce.net)
A Rebel operative against a specially trained Imperial Admiral. Let’s get it on!
The two women circle each other trying to study the other and look for some sort of weakness. Daala’s training on Carida gives her the edge Beed…she has studied self defense and hand-to-hand combat techniques!
True, but don’t count Ors out…she is sure to have a few tricks up her sleeve. She is a trained dancer so you know she’s athletic and nimble.
Daala’s lip curls up in a snarl as he takes a lunge at Ors. “Rebel scum!” she takes a couple of swings at Jan, one of which is blocked and the other she twists to avoid. Jan smirks and returns with a high kick that catches Daala in the shoulder, and follows with a jab to her mouth. “That’ll shut you up you Imperial banshee!” Jan does a bit of ballet dance routine to taunt the Imperial Admiral.
“Sithspit!” Daala spits out a little blood and wipes the small cut on her lip, and lunges for a quick attack which is ended with a leg sweep that knocks Ors onto her back, leaving her a little battered and stunned. Daala gains the upper hand and kicks Jan a couple of times in the side with her Imperial-issue boots then lunges and straddles the fallen Rebel operative as both women cry out in rage and take swings at each other.
Oh no Fode!!! Ors has Daala by the hair and ooooo!!!! That’s going to hurt. Ors just ripped a handful of hair from Daala’s head! Jan throws Daala off of her then casts the tuft of hair aside as Daala falls to one knee, secretly picking up a handful of dirt from the arena floor and throws it into Ors’ face. Jan cries out as she tries to get the dirt out of her eyes. Daala gets a few hard punches in before Jan grabs her by the tunic and headbutts Daala in the face…ooo! And she is wearing her trademark spacer goggles on her forehead too! Look at the indentation rings on Daala’s forehead! *the Rebels in the crowd roars in approval and the Imperials boo loudly* Daala shakes it off and tackles Ors to the arena floor again. Both women are screaming and cursing at each other! This is a great “catfight” as the humans call it!
Ors throws the Imperial Admiral off of her and delivers some punishment of her own while Daala is down, Ors performs a couple of elbow drops and a few stomps to her torso. Wait! What is this!?!? Ors has just pulled out a hydrospanner from one of the pockets in her overalls and has clubbed Daala over the head as the Admiral groggily stands up. I don’t care what part of galaxy you’re from…that has got to hurt! Her experience as a mechanic/engineer on a starship has paid off. hydropanners are not just tools, but handy for clubbing things, especially hyperdrive motivators that are acting up.
Daala curses as she falls to one knee and then drops to the arena floor.
That’s it! Jan Ors is the winner! Admiral Daala looks to be okay as she is slowly coming to…but I doubt no amount of makeup is going to cover up those nasty welts and bruises!
Stay tuned for our next match: Mara Jade vs. Jaina Solo!
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 16 May 2003 12:00
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Here is the preview for the upcoming battle of Mara Jade-Skywalker vs. Jaina Solo:
Mara Jade - Orphaned at a young age when her parents were killed, Mara was taken in by Emperor Palpatine and trained in the use of the Force. She was used by the Emperor as his personal assassin and agent, codenamed, "The Emperor's Hand." She took on a number of surveillance missions, often posing as one of the Emperor's dalliances in order to escape notice. As a member of Palpatine's closest followers, she gained a good deal of experience in the use of The Force. Her latent Force-sensitivity was heightened by the Emperor, and it allowed her to contact him across vast distances via Force energy. These abilities disappeared almost completely when the Emperor was killed. One of the last missions the Emperor assigned her to was the killing of Luke Skywalker. The Emperor claimed to have foreseen her involvement in Luke's death, and sent her to Tatooine following Vader's failure to capture Luke at Cloud City. She infiltrated Jabba's palace as a dancing girl, but was not able to complete her mission The death of the Emperor at the Battle of Endor robbed her of her Force abilities and her main source of impetus. She went underground after Palpatine's death, and performed a number of odd jobs across the galaxy before she joined up with Talon Kaarde.
She joined up just before he became involved with the New Republic, and was once again thrown into Luke's path. The Emperor's command to kill Luke resurfaced, but the events surrounding Grand Admiral Thrawn's plans for Luke and the New Republic kept getting in her way. She found herself helping Luke more often than not. When she and Luke were reunited in C'baoth's stronghold on Wayland, she fulfilled her "destiny" to kill Luke Skywalker, but not in the way she or the Emperor had forseen. When C'baoth sent a clone of Luke to battle the original Luke, Mara destroyed the clone.
Mara continued to assist the Republic after the death of Grand Admiral Thrawn, but was increasingly pursued by Lando Calrissian, both on a business level and a personal level. She kept Lando at arm's-length from a personal standpoint, but joined in with him to restart the Spice Mines of Kessel as a legal source of glitterstim spice.
During the Caamas Incident, Mara took a group of Karrde's people to Nirauan, to search out the strange ships that attacked them in the Kauron asteroid field. She was stranded on the planet, and was eventually rescue by Luke.
Their relationship grew during the incident and Luke asked Mara if she would marry him, which she accepted.
After the resolution of the Caamas Incident, they were wed: once, in a solemn Jedi ceremony performed by Kam Solusar; and again in a public ceremony on Coruscant. Both agreed that they should travel the galaxy as Jedi instructors, leaving the Jedi Academy on Yavin 4 to grow beyond Luke's vision.
Now with the Yuuzhan Vong invasion Mara has been thrust into the battle, fighting and defeating an engineered disease that the Vong infected her with as well as giving birth to her and Luke's first child, Ben. Mara also took Jaina Solo under her wing and trained her in the ways of the Force after her marriage to Luke.
Jaina Solo - Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo's first daughter, was born five minutes before her twin brother, Jacen. She has a knack for mechanics, like her father, but not as strong as her brothers Jacen and Anakin in the Force. Jaina became Mara's apprentice and grew in her Force abilities with guidance from the former "Emperor's Hand". During the Yuuzhan Vong invasion of the galaxy, Jaina put her skills with the Force to work as a member of Rogue Squadron, flying an X-Wing into battle against the aliens. The Yuuzhan Vong attack brought about a change in Jaina as she saw her younger brother Anakin killed by the Vong. This sent her into a Dark Side rage. She continues to fight against the Vong, but she is travelling farther down the path to the Dark Side of the Force.
Both women know the Dark Side of the Force well...The Master Mara Jade-Skywalker and her apprentice, Jaina Solo.
Which Bad Girl of the Force will take the fight?
Stay tuned.....
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lupus
Member
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# Posted: 16 May 2003 14:00
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GO GO GO
*does little jig*
Lupus
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skull_leader
Member
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# Posted: 18 May 2003 10:19
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Transmission to the Wookiee Bookie--1000 credits on Mara!
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 19 May 2003 12:40
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Welcome back to the Nar Shadda Superdome fight fans! We are going back live to the arena floor as we are eagerly awaiting the "Bad Girl of the Force" match between Mara Jade-Skywalker and Jaina Solo.
Up to you Fode and Beed!
Beed gives Fode a slap against the side of his head to get him refocused on the impending fight. "Stop flirting with that Twi'lek serving girl you nerf herder!"
Fode comes to and give Beed a thwap on his ear in return."Owwwww!!!"
"Sorry about that, right...on to the battle! The history of both fighters have been presented and the bets are favoring the older, more powerful Mara Jade, but don't count out the young Jaina Solo. She's get a mean streak a parsec wide!"
Both women are escorted into the arena which is set up specifically for lightsaber dueling between two Jedis. Cargo containers are haphazzardly strewn about to provide the combatants objects to force throw at each other. The medical crews are standing by and we have teams carrying ysalamiri at the perimeter of the arena in case one of them conjures up a Force Storm or goes into a complete Dark Side Rage. The last thing our Hutt sponsors need are their spectators getting zapped by bad dark side mojo. For our audience members that do not know about the ysalamiri they are small, salamander-like creatures no larger than 50 centimeters long. Their long claws grow directly into the cores of the branches they inhabit, drawing nutrients from the mineral-rich trees. It takes special knowledge to successfully remove an ysalamiri from a branch without killing it.
A single ysalamiri creates a bubble in which the Force cannot be used and manipulated. In groups, the size of the bubble increases. One of these creatures creates a 10 meter diameter anti-Force bubble due to their evolutionary process on the planet Myrkr.
Now that the formalities have been made, and let us state that there ARE NO RULES, then let the battle begin!
The crowd roars in approval as both women activate their sabers. Both have a purple/lavender hue. Remember that Mara used to work for Emperor Palpatine and learned from the Sith Master on a more personal level. Jaina was Mara's apprentice for a time so hopefully Jade-Skywalker didn't teach her padawan all of her secrets. Both women circle around the duel arena and step aside the cargo containers trying to asses who will make the first attack.
Beed sputters, "Mara closes her saber!!!! What in the Emperor's black bones is she doing?"
Mara locks eyes with Jaina and smiles, "Sorry kid, I can't fight my own apprentice. I know you've been through a lot, but you really need to lose the dark side look...the veiny-angry-all-the-time look is getting stale, and to be honest your parents and your Uncle Luke and I have been worried about you..." Jaina cuts her off with a snarl,
"When did you get so high-and-mighty Miss "Emperor's Hand" You're one to talk! You don't know me! You don't know the pain I'm going through! Arrghhh!!!!" Jaina rushes Mara and force jumps for a quick death from above slash with her saber, Mara backflips and ignites her saber, bringing it up to block Jaina's blade.
Mara calmy dodges, blocks, and parries Jaina's rushed attacks. "Come on kid...its not worth it. I know you're enjoying this teenage angst-dark side I hate my parents thing, but you'll grow out of it...its just a phase. What if I told Jaged Fel that the whole 'bad girl' thing of yours is a phase you are going through..." Jaina shrieks and fires bolts of force lightning from her fingertips. Mara falls to one knee and cries out in agony.
"You WILL NOT embarrass me like that! You're no better than my Mom with her useless Force powers and my Dad that hasn't been the same since the incident with Chewie!"
Beed and Fode comment on the battle at hand with a snicker, "Wow! Looks like Jaina is getting her teen/young adult angst dark side groove on and there isn't much Mara can do..."
Mara uses the force to pull several of the cargo containers toward Jaina which slam agaisnt the young woman, causing her to lose her focus on her debilitating force lightning assault. Mara rises and calls on the Force again to pull more containers toward Jaina. After the apprentice deflects them with her saber Mara uses Force Push to knock the young woman down.
"Enough of this Jaina...I will not fight you." Mara closes her saber down and throws it aside. Jaina scrambles to her feet and clearly looks upset. She wipes a tear as she lunges at Mara, her violet blade aimed for Mara's throat and....
"I...can't...the dark side has done this to me...I can't fight you Mara, and I can't kill you. You're more a mother to me, and my teacher. I'm so sorry. Jaina twitches as the blade hums and flickers at the side of Mara's neck. Jaina starts to sob as she turns off her saber and throws her arms around Mara in a strong embrace. "I'm so sorry! Everything is just so messed up...and...*sobs*"
"It'll be okay kiddo. Luke and I will help you conquer the Dark Side". Mara discreetly summons one of the small containers with the Force and pulls out of her hug with Jaina in time before it smacks the young upset Jedi in the back of the head, rendering her unconscious.
"Sorry Jaina. I love ya, but I also hate to lose..." Mara smirks as she force pulls her saber back and hooks it on her belt. "You'll get over it." Mara runs a hand through her firey red hair and raises a fist in victory.
Mara Jade-Skywalker is the winner by knockout!
*crowd errupts in applause and cheers*
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 19 May 2003 12:59
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Preview of the next battle: Winter vs. Ysanne "Iceheart" Isard
What a spectacular fight this will be! Both women are cool as ice, but the heat will be turned up when they are in this arena! Let us see which one is going to melt first!
Winter - As a young girl growing up in the Royal House of Alderaan, the silver-haired Winter was often mistaken for Leia Organa, as her refined demeanor and aristocratic manners better befit the image of a princess than the tomboy young Leia was. The two were inseparable friends, and as Leia grew older and entered the realm of politics, Winter remained by her side as her royal aide and personal assistant.
As the Organa family became involved in the growing Rebellion to oppose the Empire, Winter's special talents were invaluable. Winter has a holographic and audiographic memory: she forgets nothing she sees or hears. Bail Organa assigned Winter to the Rebellion's Procurement and Supply division. She was off-planet when the Empire obliterated Alderaan.
Winter's gift became a silent curse as she can never shake the memories of her departed friends and destroyed world. She rarely lets her feelings show, though at times, in private, her grief is almost too much to bear. Her rigid control over her emotions and her no-nonsense approach to her duties have caused some to comment that her name befits her icy personality.
Working for the Alliance, Winter would supply valuable intelligence regarding the location and layout of Imperial supply caches. This information proved vital to Alliance raiding parties who would generate extremely detailed maps based on Winter's recollections. Her effectiveness gained her a position in the Empire's most-wanted lists, though the Imperials only knew her by her code-name of "Targeter".
She later served as a nanny to Leia and Han's children in the days of the New Republic and went on many missions for Rogue Squadron and the NR in years to come.
Ysanne "Iceheart" Isard - Young Ysanne Isard followed in the footsteps of her father, Armand, who was director of Imperial Intelligence. Despite such highly placed parentage, she excelled on her own merits, proving a capable student and remarkable field agent. In fact, it's testament to her skills that she was able to surprise her father by engineering his downfall.
Prior to the first Death Star's completion, Rebel agents were able to steal a datapack containing coordinates for Despayre, the barren world that was the battle station's cradle. She was dispatched to gather that data, but failed. Rather than be punished, Ysanne instead turned the tables on her father, who had assigned her that mission. She claimed that her father had allowed the data to fall into Rebel hands in the first place. The elder Isard was summarily executed, and Ysanne became director of Imperial Intelligence.
From this position, and from her icy, cruel and vengeful personality, Ysanne earned the nickname "Iceheart." Though she was beautiful -- with a striking face with one blue and one red eye -- her chilling demeanor was anything but inviting.
At Isard's suggestion, Palpatine allowed her to construct a terrifying prison complex that would also serve as a brainwashing facility. The Lusankya was actually a functional Super Star Destroyer secretly constructed beneath the towering skylines of Coruscant. In here, prisoners toiled under the illusion of being trapped on some barren rock-world, never aware of the bustling cityscapes surrounding them.
After the Emperor's death at Endor, Isard allied herself with Grand Vizier Sate Pestage, the Emperor's advisor who assumed command. The ever-scheming Isard allowed Pestage to be captured by the New Republic at Brentaal. The Ruling Circle of Imperial officials came to power next, but it was only a matter of time before Isard had them slain as well, seizing control of the Empire for herself.
Isard also had many run-ins with the infamous Rogue Squardon, and had many of her plots against the New Republic foiled by the elite squadron.
Which one of these icy women will melt our hearts and win the fight? Stay tuned!!!!
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anth
Member
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# Posted: 19 May 2003 14:17
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Yay! Mara! I'll never forgive my pal in the comic shop for selling her action figure while he was meant to be holding it back for me. now i want it even more again! *feels the hate flowing through him*  MARA! MARA!
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deanna
Member
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# Posted: 20 May 2003 13:39
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*she steps off a ship resembleing the Millenium Falcon and walks down onto a landing strip* "Where the hell am I?" *she looks around at her abducters* A Giant Hairy beast emergies from behind her mumbleing something in some unknown language......"Come again ya big fur ball?"
Following them both is the dashing Captain Han Solo....."M'lady I'm under strict orders of the Rebel Alliance to deliver you here safely"
"Where exactly is here?........and you do realize you stole me away from my honeymoon, don't you??"
The giant walking carpet pushed her forwards towards an arena looking building....
Han replied "Your skills as an empath has reached us from all the way across many galaxies, we came to find you, so you could help us in this most trying time"
Deanna's eyes widened as she entered the arena....."oh not not another death match???"
She was led to an area where The Hutt's awaited her, to give her final instructions on betting procedures and where she was told, any cheapers get fed to the Rancors.
With eyes wide she made her way to a booth just outside the battle rings.....
Seeing the games have already begun she does the only thing she can do under such strange circumstances.....
She opens shop and shouts "Let the betting begin"....
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 21 May 2003 23:14
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Greetings and salutations fight fans!
It seems we have had a minor security issue...A couple of assassination attempts against the Rebel agent, Winter have been thwarted by our security forces and we are baffled at the motive behind them...unfortunately the Gungan, Jar Jar Binks has been shot in the crossfire and is in the arena infirmary as we speak. I think a little swim in the bacta tank will help soothe his frayed nerves, and he looks to be recovering...anyway, back up to you Fode and Beed! How are you guys doing?
*Beed and Fode wave* "We're doing very well, thanks! The Hutt's are keeping us well-feed are tending to our every need." *Beed burps and excuses himself in Huttese*
"I see that the marshals are leading the Rebel agent, Winter into the arena, and on the opposite end we have Ysanne Isard taking her position. The bookie reports that the betting is very close in this match...2:1 odds for Winter over Isard, but some say those odds can change in midfight...we'll see what happens! This is an unique arena configuration we have tonight...its a maze of sorts, with a large dueling circle in the center of the maze. This will definitely test the wit and cunning of both these well-trained and intelligent ladies. There are various traps and even weapons at every turn...the buzzer sounds and the battle is on!!!!"
Isard takes a quick lead into the maze, dodging a row of blades that extended from the wall, she ducks, rolls forward, takes a step, and leaps over a pressure plate which would have sent a massive amount of electricity through her. Winter on the other side is proceeding with caution, and carefully walking along the wall to make her way through...so far she has yet to spring any of the traps, but she has found a fully-charged stun baton hanging on the wall. Yessir! the charge in that baby will most likely drop a bantha after a few zaps. Winter grabs it and clips it to her belt.
Oh oh! look out Winter! An automatic blaster cannon has popped up from the floor and has taken a few shots at her. Winter quickly decides that is not the direction to go and turns down another passage, using her photographic memory to guide her down each turn and passage, sometimes doubling back to find a different route. Isard has just stumbled upon a nice weapon of her own hanging on the wall...a standard issue BlasTech E-11 Imperial stormtrooper blaster rifle with a half-full power cell. She sets the weapon to maximum power and snickers with delight. “This will be too easy…”
Winter turns another corner and another and runs into an older model battle droid, the droid raises it’s arm to fire a small blaster, but Winter has already closed the distance and with a quick flip behind the droid she quickly unhooks the stun baton and activates it into the back of the droid. After a few moments of sparks, smoke and complete circuit failure, the droid falls over. She pries the blaster from the droid’s hand and hooks the stun baton back to her belt as she deftly leaps over an open trap door, lands, then cartwheels through a couple of spinning blades. She takes the last turn and she is in the middle of the maze! Now lets check on Isard’s progress.
Isard has made great progress, somehow avoiding a major row of traps. Seems to me she already knew the layout of our maze before the battle. I wouldn’t put it past her. She does have efficient resources in the Imperial Intelligence and killed her own father to take his position as Director of Imperial Intel, so we know she is a conniving woman with a lust for power. She is about to turn the last corner and she is in the center of the maze with Winter! The crowd goes wild as both combatants have made it in one piece to the center of our “Maze of Death!”
Since Winter got to the center of the maze first she had time to set up a defensive position behind a half-wall and as soon as Isard made it through she opened fire on the Imperial. Isard has been hit in the arm and she has dropped her blaster. Iceheart ducks for cover behind several stacked heavy durasteel carbo boxes. Looks like Winter just grazed her though as Isard makes a futile attempt to retrieve her blaster a couple of meters away which would put her at risk for getting shot, and I wouldn’t want to make that bet against someone nicknamed “Targeter”!
Winter squeezes off a few more shots over Isard and moves over a few meters to another half wall. With Isard almost in view, she aims and fires again. Ysanne Isard shrieks and dives to the floor. “Stop! Stop! I yield! Isard raises her hands in surrender and inches toward her blaster as Winter rises from behind the wall and levels the blaster at the Imperial.
“Surrender is not in your vocabulary Isard….so why bother? Isard narrows her eyes at Winter and sneers. Winter stares at Isards’ one ice-blue eye and the other firey red eye as she lowers the blaster…then suddenly remembers that Isard has tried this trick before, and in one fluid motion brings the rifle back up and fires a stun bolt that hits Isard in the chest, knocking her to the ground. Isard moans and twitches a bit then goes limp.
Winter and her photographic memory are the victor!
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 21 May 2003 23:52
Reply
I regret to inform you that Shmi Skywalker will not be able to battle Padme Amidala. Since Shmi is currently a slave she was sold to a rival Hutt clan and our sponsors are honoring this contract...Sorry fans, but servants, indentured or otherwise, are important to a Hutt's organization. Maybe she will come back, or some alternative arrangements can be made...
Therefore, Padme moves on by default!
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babel
Member
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# Posted: 22 May 2003 03:26
Reply
' Hello, I'm Ivgota Bigheed and I'll be bzzklimmgrinkeeEEEE!!! doing some occasional interviews SCRIMMLE with the combatants. IF this malfunctioning blifftyklzzee of a translation unit lets me, that is, it keeps mzzrtkttrzzee batteries might be ztttKKKKK, should have bought Duracell! Ah, that's got it!
Today I'm with Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, welcome to the show. '
' Thankyou Ivgota, pleased to be here. (Are you showing my best side? Padme might be watching this. Is my hair okay? )'
' Erm . . you're just fine, Anakin. Now. If I can ask you, what's it like being the padawan to such an august figure as Obi Wan Kenobi?'
' Obi Wan is a great teacher. He's more like a father to me. Yeah . . . JUST like a father! He never lets me borrow his speeder, doesn't let me stay out late at weekends and nothing I ever do is good enough! It's so unfair!'
' So Obi Wan is a hard master to please?'
' Hard? You don't know the half of it! He's judgemental, intolerant and it's okay for HIM to go and have a drink in bars while I get to chase round the assassins! And he's just . . embarrassing!'
' In what way?'
' For a start he wears a beard. How's he going to get any chicks while he's got that thing? And his robes! SO yesterday! He should wear dark greys like I do . . . the chicks LOVE these robes. Especially Padme . . mmm . . . '
' Anakin? ANAKIN?'
' H'mm? Oh, sorry . . . I was lost in a, erm, Jedi meditational trance!'
' Ooo-kay. Moving on, what are your ambitions as a Jedi?'
' Like all Jedi, my ambitions are humble. I live to serve the Jedi order and my own ambitions are completely submissive to that. But . . .y'know? I'm stronger than the rest. Faster. I'm stronger in the Force. My lightsaber looks cooler. I'm better looking (I know cos Padme told me! . I'm a better pilot - I was knocking out Federation Battleships when I was barely out of diapers! '
' . . . and? '
' And? Isn't it obvious? I'm already the most powerful Jedi ever! I wan't Yoda's job! First I've got to leapfrog Master Windu. Now at least he's got some style, he has the right idea, Bad Ass to the b-b-b-bone! But I can take him. Him and his sissy lilac lightsaber! '
' Okay, getting a little afraid here . . .'
' You shouldn't be afraid of me. '
*the room starts to rumble slightly*
' I'm a Jedi.'
*Ivgota's throat tightens slightly*
' I'm one of the good guys.'
*the rumbling stops and Ivgota's throat loosens once more*
' For now . . . .'
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 22 May 2003 06:14
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Thank you for that wonderful interview Ivgota! now on to the preview for the political debate to end all political debates as two former senators from the Galactic Senate will face off against each other and debate the pressing issues our galaxy is facing. Princess Leia Organa, Senator from what was Alderaan, and hero of the Rebellion, versus Senator Mon Mothma from Chandrilla, who is also the Chief of State for the Rebel Alliance. We will air this event live from the Galactic Senate Hall on Coruscant.
Mon Mothma - a native of the planet Chandrila, Mon Mothma grew up in a political environment, as her mother was a governor on Chandrila and her father was an arbiter-general in the Old Republic. Mon Mothma eventually became the youngest person elected to the Imperial Senate at that time. (Leia Organa was the youngest ever to be elected.) She was an outspoken representative, who was one of the first Senators to notice the degeneration of the Old Republic. She was also one of the first to do something about it. Along with Garm Bel Iblis and Bail Organa, they negotiated the Corellian Treaty following Palpatine's rise to power, and formed the Alliance to Restore the Republic. She became the leader of the Alliance, and her political savvy made her nearly irreplaceable. How domineering attitude, however, created tense situations, and led to the departure of Garm Bel Iblis from the Alliance prior to the attack on Milvayne. Mon Mothma, along with Crix Madine and the Mon Calamarian Ackbar, devised the plans to destroy the second Death Star at Endor, which eventually succeeded. From that point on, Mon Mothma served as the Chief of State for the New Republic.
Princess Leia Organa Solo - Leia was separated from her brother at birth in an effort to hide their potential Force-sensitivity. She and her mother were hidden with Bail Organa on the planet Alderaan, where she grew up in the political atmosphere surrounding an Imperial Senator. Leia herself grew proficient in the world of politics, and eventually became a Senator herself. Her mother became Alderaan's Mistress of Education, but died while Leia was still young. Once Leia saw the internal corruption that Emperor Palpatine was fomenting, she quickly turned her idealistic mind to the growing Alliance to Restore the Republic. She became very active in the Alliance, and was chosen to escort the stolen plans to the first Death Star to their final destination. After being captured by Darth Vader and tortured, her homeworld of Alderaan was destroyed by Grand Moff Tarkin. This only hardened her resolve, and crystallized her desire to overthrow the Empire. Following the Battle of Yavin, Leia began to fall in love with Han Solo. The bounty on his life, however, separated them until Leia could gain access to Jabba the Hutt's palace and rescue him, with the help of Luke Skywalker and Lando Calrissian. She then helped the Alliance prepare for the Battle of Endor, and even was a member of Han's ground assault team. Her communication with the Ewoks led to the cooperation of the two forces against the Empire, and helped the Alliance destroy the second Death Star.
She then led the team assigned to the Bakura situation, and successfully teamed up with the Imperial forces there to defeat the Ssi-ruuk. During Warlord Zsinj's reign, she appealed to the Hapans for aid in overthrowing Zsinj. They Hapans agreed to help, but only if she were to marry the crown prince, Isolder. This led to the discovery of her love for Han, as well as the Witches of Dathomir. In the end, Isolder shook off his mother's mantle and agreed to help the Alliance without marrying Leia, and he gladly gave her hand to Han Solo. Leia's marriage to Han Solo produced three Force-sensitive children: Jaina and Jacen (twins) and young baby Anakin. She became Chief of State of the New Republic after Mon Mothma stepped down to retire and continued in many adventures with her family and comrades.
The bookie has announced that the bidding is open, so place your bets and stay tuned to the impending fight!
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cutemacgyver
Member
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# Posted: 25 May 2003 04:40
Reply
When is the next match? I bet 2000 credits on Princess Leia Organa 
/Angus
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 27 May 2003 08:49
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We here at Star Wars Deathmatch apologize for the delay. It appears our event organizer had a busier than normal weekend and could not update the loyal and spirited fight fans on our next matchup. After the Leia Organa-Solo/Mon Mothma battle we will have a finals battle to crown the ultimate Star Wars Woman! She will then move on toward possible greater glory as the Deathmatch progresses.
We here at SW Deathmatch hope you have enjoyed the matchups thus far. As we get into matchups with more familiar people then there will be even more surprises, special guest matchup event posters, etc...
So, on with the political debate of the Millenuim! We are taking you the Galactic Senate Hall on Coruscant in which we have set up one ot the antechambers with a stage, a podium on each side of the stage for what will be an outstanding political debate between these two Rebel leaders! Joining us is special guest moderator Borsk Fey'lya, a Bothan, and Rebel Alliance politician in his own right...please proceed Mr. Fey'lya.
"Thank you and welcome to Coruscant. We will begin with Mon Mothma's opening statement and follow with Princess Leia Organa-Solo's comments. Ladies, you have been briefed on the policies and protocols of this debate, so would the Chief of State please begin."
"Yes, thank you...It is my belief that the Rebel Alliance should uphold the beliefs and provide unity amongst the many sentient beings of the galaxy..."
After almost fifty minutes of Mothma droning on and on Leia snaps to attention after dozing off when Fey'lya calls on her for a rebuttal.
"Uh...Mon Mothma, we fight for the same cause, believe in the same thing. What is the point of this debate, to agree with each other? I could make a rebuttal that you have a lousy hair stylist, wear no makeup, and that white old-lady robe look of yours is not that flattering if you get my meaning."
Mon Mothma frowns and narrows her eyes at the young Princess.
"At least I can speak with a regal, British accent. Your poor attempt at that (Star Wars: A New Hope) was laughable at best my dear. And you dare comment on my lack of hair style, have you looked in the mirror lately sister? Oooo...the pernament cinn-a-bunns of steel is so pre-Alderaan. You are a young upstart that is passionate in her views yes, but you have yet to learn the techniques and gain the experience of true politicking."
Leia scowls a bit, and steps away from behind her podium. Fey'lya's fur ripples in nervousness, and is also quite shocked that civility and debate has taken a turn toward the darker side of mud-slinging and slagging character traits, he gasps slighty,
"Ladies! please...let us be more civil and tactful here!"
Leia makes her way to the moderator table,"Look you old windbag, it IS a time for change...and I'm tired of being your protege." Leia sneers and grabs the Bothan moderator Borsk Fey'lya by the scruff of his neck, slams his face against the top of the table he is sitting at, lifts his unconscoius body with her limited Force powers, then flings the Bothan at Mon Mothma. Fey'lya flies through the air and crashes through the podium which Mothma was hiding behind in fear.
Mothma rises and bows slighlty. "I assume this ends our debate Princess Leia, Perhaps we should form a committee to vote on the outcome?"
Leia casually walks up to the Rebel Chief of State and slugs her one with a quick right. Mon Mothma falls to the floor quickly and stays down. That's it! the firey Princess and Senator from Alderaan wins this battle!
Leia smirks and mutters, "I am NOT a committee!"
As the Princess walks out she gives the unconscious Bothan moderator a few kicks for good measure...
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cutemacgyver
Member
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# Posted: 27 May 2003 09:50
Reply
Yes, Leia won
Where is the bookie? I need to collect
my winnings
/Angus
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anth
Member
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# Posted: 27 May 2003 14:36
Reply
Whoohooo! yay! and i just know she had that bikini on during that debate! Boy! oh boy! did that get me through some tough times when i was younger.
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 27 May 2003 22:49
Reply
Were closing in to the finals for the Warrior Woman of Star Wars!
Here is how we are going to proceed:
Round 1
Battle 1:
Jan Ors vs. Winter
Battle 2:
Mara Jade-Skywalker vs. a late edition to the SW Deathmatch!
Battle 3:
Leia Organa Solo vs. Padme Amidala
Winners of Battles 1 and 2 will fight, then face the winner of Battle 3!
Stay tuned for the dramatic conclusion to the Women of Star Wars battle!
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 29 May 2003 09:08
Reply
Greetings and salutations fight fans!
Welcome to Battle #1 of our Women of Star Wars Deathmatch: Jan Ors vs. Winter!
We have already introduced these two ladies (see previous battles) so let's get it on!!!!
Beed and Fode raise their arms in the air and get the crowd pumped up for the fight. The Rebel contingent here is amazing seeing how both women are agents for the Rebel Alliance...ermm, New Republic. Banners wave about as the fans cheer for their favorite woman as they are led onto the arena floor by the marshalls.
"Both ladies bow civily and get into a defensive stance, circling around and looking for a weakness. Ors fakes a lunge to throw Winter off, but the older Rebel agent doesn't even flinch."
Beed replies, "Looks like we have a bit of a standoff, but Winter does have the slight advantage of age and experience, but that Jan Ors is a brawler!"
"Both women circle each other a few times, relunctant to make the first move, finally Winter begins with a couple of jabs that hit nothing but air, Ors ducks and rolls away, quickly getting back on her feet and goes for a strong right! Winter blocks and brings her knee up quickly to hit Ors in the side. Jan takes a few step back and rubs her side. She growls and goes in with a few high kicks, one connects against Winter's jaw! ooo...I think I heard that from up here in the announcers box Beed! Winter is stunned and is taking a pummeling at the hands of this former dancer, starship mechanic, and Rebel Operative. Ors slaps Winter with another right, and that hand has some kind of metal/ cybernetic gauntlet of sorts...can we confirm that? is it a bionic replacement or a glove?
Either way Winter is down to one knee, but quickly jabs Ors in the solar plexus, and unleashes some womanly wrath on the spacer, her last roundhouse kick knocks Jan's goggles off her head and leaves Ors with a nasty swollen bump.
Both women stagger forward and grapple together, cursing, hair pulling and just having an all out dirty fight! oooo! a slap, and another! Ors just called Winter the "Emperor's favorite concubine!" and Winter retorts that Ors is the offspring of a Whiphid and was then beaten with an ugly stick after birth! Both ladies are badly bruised, cut up, and are in need of a serious spa treatment and makeover, but here at SW Deathmatch we like our fights brutal, dirty, and fun! No froo-froo stuff here folks!
Suddenly, and without warning, both women stop...their eyes glaze over and they fall to the arena floor. The medical teams rush out to retrieve them and rush them to the infirmary.
Uh...this can't be good. We're going to figure out what is going on after these important messages from our sponsors."
*Live holovid feed cuts to commercials*
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 30 May 2003 08:04
Reply
*live holovid comes back*
"Welcome back fight fans...as the replay shows both Winter and Jan Ors were in a heated battle, then suddenly both women went unconscious. According to the reports from our medical droids both women were infected with some nerve toxin that rendered them unconscious. Our people are looking into the possible motives, and how it was administered, but strangely enough it matches a toxin engineered by the Empire. We are questioning Ysanne Isard, the Director of Imperial Intelligence, and who was defeated by Winter in a previous battle...of course she is resistant to all forms of "persuassion" so unfortunately both Winter and Jan Ors are eliminated from the contest. Both women will be fine after some time in the bacta tank and the toxin works it's way out of their system. Our Hutt sponsors want us to continue so let us introduce our next battle:
Mara Jade-Skywalker vs. *dramatic pause* a late addition to the Deathmatch...and...that is..."
*Beed fumbles with his notes* "ermmm...uhh..
Callista Ming!!!!
Callista Ming
a Jedi Knight from Chad III, she grew up with her family on an ocean ranch, migrating on the Algic Current with the herds of tsaelke. When she accepted the assignement to intercept and disable the Eye of Palpatine, she and her lover, Geith, were unable to completely eliminate the threat of the ship. So, Callista decided to stay behind and try to disable the ship while Geith returned to get more help. When Geith was killed during his escape attempt, Callista sacrificed her physical body and left her Force-aura in the ship's automated firing computer. When Luke Skywalker, Cray Mingla, and Nichos Marr rediscovered the Eye, Callista fired on them, thinking that they were Imperial troops come to recover the ship. Then, Irek activated the ship's remote controls, re-initiatiing its original mission. Callista was unable to determine the causes, but she was able to sense Luke's string Force-presence when he was brought on board. She helped him rescue Cray and Nichos, but refused Luke's attempts to store her consciousness in a computer. However, when Cray decided to stay behind and detonate the ship, she gave Callista her own physical body. Callista escaped the Eye, but she could not longer touch the Force. So, while she loved Luke, she felt that they could not be together forever. The two tried everything they could think of to help her regain her Force sensitivity, but she only succeeded in finding the Dark Side. She vowed that, if the Dark Side was all she could touch, then she wanted nothing to do with the Force. This opened a rift between herself and Luke, which widened with each failure. She eventually left Luke in hopes to reunite herself with the Force.
We have Luke's long-lost love, Callista, and his curent wife Mara...this will be a more exciting than setting a starved Rancor loose on a pack of Ewoks! Two women in love with the same Jedi Master...should be an exciting match! Please place your bets with our bookie, she has been quiet of late, so say hello to her and put your bets in!
Stay tuned for the upcoming battle!"
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 10 Jun 2003 08:31
Reply
Sorry for not posting lately folks...Been busy and preoccupied lately, but I will redouble my efforts and get the Deathmatch back on track this week.
If anyone wants to write/post a battle in my place, please let me know. I would love to see what you SW fans come up with!
[EMAIL="crazytexan@outpost10f.com]crazytexan@outpost10f.com[/EMAIL]
CT
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crazytexan
Member
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# Posted: 30 Jun 2003 12:34
Reply
Just posting so we don't lose the thread...should be posting the remaining 'Women of Star Wars' battles soon, depending on my schedule and hopefully kicking it into hyperdrive to get this finished up. If anyone wants to take over and post, please do...sorry folks, but RL is way too busy lately.
CT
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anth
Member
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# Posted: 30 Jun 2003 13:32
Reply
i just came in here to rescue this thread! Noticed earlier it was about to go. Can't let that happen. *LOL*
I'm busy with the Jedi pics. But would be great if somebody could take up CT's offer of a guest writers spot.
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cowhunter
Member
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# Posted: 3 Jul 2003 07:13
Reply
Who was next up to fight? Tell me and I'll see what I can do...if it sucks, we can always delete it from the series.
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anth
Member
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# Posted: 3 Jul 2003 10:33
Reply
<!--QuoteBegin--cowhunter+July 03 2003,07:13--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (cowhunter @ July 03 2003,07:13)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin-->Who was next up to fight? Tell me and I'll see what I can do...if it sucks, we can always delete it from the series.<!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br>I believe CT asked anyone who wished to write an instalment to e-mail him to the addy in his doss. So good luck with it. I'm sure he'll be happy to give you all the info you'll need. <!--emo&:)--><img src="http://www.outpost10f.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smi.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'><!--endemo-->
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