| Author |
Message |
iain
Moderator
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 13:58
Reply
Hello world,
I am attempting to collect together all facts about Iain.
AJ started me off, with:
Iain does not use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, he simply changes the acutal spelling of it.
I think I can also add that this is one of the Chuck Norris Facts:
"Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. Iain laughed, and asked why he needed the cards."
.. the part in red is the little-known correction.
... good luck completing the list! 
Iain
|
ajcardall
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 14:05
Reply
To start the ball rolling:
Iain can speak Braille
Iain counted to infinity. Twice.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris Iain.
|
iain
Moderator
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 14:20
Reply
People only argue with Iain when they believe the opposite of what they are arguing, and wish to learn the perfect way to present their case to others.
When Iain uses the smiley, Satan runs whimpering and hides.
Iain doesn't control OTF's Departments. He has better things to do, and delegates to the SMs.
Iain doesn't give Triva winners special ranks. He makes the people he gives special ranks win Trivias.
|
bria
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 14:28
Reply
As stated in my Updates post:
Chuck Norris needs his roundhouse kick; Iain only has to say "boo" to make people fall over in pain. 
|
sloppy
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 14:31
Reply
Iain does not suffer from an inflamed ego, it's a natural outcome of enhanced evolution
|
citron
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 14:53
Reply
Iain doesn't go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Iain.
|
demonvamp
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 15:01
Reply
Iain has Athlete's feet. I don't know which athlete he got them from, but I hear it wasn't a fun night at the pub.
QD
|
aceman_67
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 15:27
Reply
Iain doesn't scare me 
Phill
|
iain
Moderator
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 15:47
Reply
...
Iain wanting some extra sleep was the origin of daylight saving time.
Iain sued dictionaries for libel against him, when they defined the term "no win". And won.
|
polson
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 17:07
Reply
<!--QuoteBegin--citron+Mar. 25 2006,14:53--></span><table border="0" align="center" width="95%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="1"><tr><td><b>Quote</b> (citron @ Mar. 25 2006,14:53)</td></tr><tr><td id="QUOTE"><!--QuoteEBegin--><i>Iain doesn't go at the speed of light, he goes at the speed of Iain.</i><!--QuoteEnd--></td></tr></table><span id='postcolor'><!--QuoteEEnd--><br><i>Rather, the speed of light is the speed of Iain.</i><br><br>Also, <i> There is no Iain. </i><br>And <i> Iain is the matrix</i><br>And <i> I AM IAIN! </i>
|
sg8472
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 17:48
Reply
Chuck Norris... Iain *coughs* doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris ... Iain *coughs* can divide by zero.
|
goose
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 21:14
Reply
God created the universe in exactly seven days... Iain created God!
I think, therefore I am Iain!
Harry Potter won't destroy Voldemort, Iain will with his level 6 Iaina Kedaviaina!
When it comes to picking up women, Iain doesn't have to buy any drinks.. All the girls buy him drinks want his love!
Goose
|
polson
Member
|
# Posted: 25 Mar 2006 21:26
Reply
This is going to get complicated, so try to keep up.
Iain = the Server
Iain also = Polson
Polson = Brandon
Brandon = Hobbie
Hobbie, Bria, SG, Sidne and Iain all = each other
Bria and Polson = evil
Ergo Iain = evil squared
Therefore, Iain = the root of all evil
As of yet, we're still trying to work out the bugs, mainly Brandon, Hobbie, SG, Sidne and the Server, but you get the idea.
|
ajcardall
Member
|
# Posted: 26 Mar 2006 04:02
Reply
Polson seems to forget that Hobbie = Bria = Iain = AJ = Sidne 
This was worked out months ago. There's chatsaves, somewhere
Oh, and...
There is no 'Self Destruct'. Iain just takes a nap
|
polson
Member
|
# Posted: 26 Mar 2006 08:32
Reply
Argh, I KNEW I was missing something...sorry AJ.
AJ=IAIN
Hopefully that will clear things up.
|
ajcardall
Member
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 02:59
Reply
Thanks, darling  
When Iain squints, he sees at a sub-atomic level.
Iain never loses a game of Cluedo, despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his foot to do it.
The Matrix trilogy was actually a three-part documentary about Iain
Nine-tenths of the law is Iain
Iain can fly, walk through walls, and throw a ball into outer space. The laws of physics are too scared to apply to him.
Iain won a staring contest with Medusa
|
hobbie
Moderator
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 04:14
Reply
Politicians are all puppets, and scared to death of, Iain.
When physicists first realized the size of the universe, they are rumored to have exclaimed "Iain!" because no other adjective suited.
When Iain sighs, it results in a hurricane halway across the planet.
Iain is an exception to every law that ever existed, including this one.
Neo needs to be plugged into the Matrix, all Iain needs to do is close his eyes.
Iain resides in the Internet. Anything else would be too small.
'ISE' really stands for Iain Swallowed an Electron.
The third World War will be a battle between Iain and Jon.
Humans are unable to fully grasp the concept of Iain. Only Wookiees can.
Gods need to grovel before Iain in order for him to let them do anything.
Iain doesn't sleep, he fixes the glitches that appeared in the Matrix the World.
Iain can force red bits into yellow channels.
Iain doesn't make mistakes, he defines new laws.
Looking at Iain can result in permanent damage.
Reading Iain's emails can't not result in permanent damage.
|
crazytexan
Member
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 07:56
Reply
When Iain says, "There are FOUR lights!" there better be four lights, no more, no less...
When Iain was born he amazed the doctors by making himself breathe on his own, then cut his own umbilical cord, and then sat down with pen in hand to do long division.
When Iain does pushups, his arms hurt.
Iain sends two types of e-mail: novel-length, and epic novel-length.
Iain doesn't read. He absorbs information by osmosis.
When Iain informs CT that he "fixed this crap code, repaired that system, and deleted this person from the system." CT is awed and amazed to the point of shedding a single tear of joy.
Iain types as fast as Chuck Norris kicks. If the two were to collide...it would be catastrophic.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to Iain's e-mails.
Iain IS the Senate!
When Scotty says, "You canna change the laws of phyics!" Iain replies with, "I beg to differ..." then lectures Scotty.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. reading Iain's e-mails 3. Cancer
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Iain.
When it was rumored that Iain was going to visit France, they surrendered.
|
polson
Member
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 08:43
Reply
*lmao* Thus far, my favorite is CT's shedding a tear of joy.
Is there something wrong with me that I can't think of any of these?
|
ajcardall
Member
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 11:22
Reply
Iain, Mother Teresa and the Pope were putting their cases to God over who gets to sit in the chair beside him. Mother Teresa said she deserved to, as she was pious and devoted her all life. The Pope it was his chair, as he was God's voice on Earth. Iain said, Excuse me, you're sitting in my chair
No offence intended, by the way
When Iain jumps into water, Iain doesn't get wet - the water gets Iain'd
Three things in life are certain: death, taxes and Iain
When Data locked out the computer in First Contact, Iain scoffed, punched Data in the face, and hacked the computer using only a length of string
Contrary to popular belief, the Prime Directive of Starfleet simply reads: Iain
Iain is banned from using cash machines. It has only happened once, and we refer to that as "The Great Depression"
Blackholes are where Iain successfully divided by zero.
Iain doesn't have to let the wookiee win.
|
bria
Member
|
# Posted: 27 Mar 2006 12:31
Reply
Who needs horror films when you have Iain?
Yoda's advice of "Do or do not" doesn't apply to Iain; Iain doesn't do. Iain thinks, and things just happen.
Also, hey! "Death, Taxes, and Svenja" is where Nightmare Trinity came from. SJ, I'm going to get you to sue yourself. I'm not Iain. *considers* That is, I shall get Ray to sue you. Yes.
|
zildjian
Member
|
# Posted: 29 Mar 2006 19:13
Reply
Iain.. Whaaaaiiit a minute. We're fueling him to become even more powerfull. Which is allegedly impossible if all this is true. That is to say, I can not reveal Iain facts or someone may unravel cosmic acceleration and possibly AJ's mentioned string theory. Looking these facts up will only result with the text: See 'Iain' anyway as Iain is everywhere and everyone, like the Force. Ask yourselves not what Iain can do for you, but what you can do for Iain.
There is only one way to defeat him. Sadly it is self termination several times. This has been tested. I'm on my ninth clone. Soon this option will be no more as we tune out the bugs of what can only be described as an afterlife subconcious 
|
polson
Member
|
# Posted: 29 Mar 2006 21:14
Reply
Wait...according to Zild...or maybe it was Brady...Hobbie? Um....well, it was someone - someone with shifty eyes and possibly wearing a pink tutu - who told me that I had merely to kill Iain within the Matrix to fully destroy him. Although I have killed him in the real world with posioned hot chocolate (his only confirmed weakness besides pixies and Vanilla Ice), he will continue to multiply and oppress us all until I have vanquished him where it counts (that is the Matrix for anyone who doesn't follow). Now, seeing how I've already done my part to kill him once and were I to truly destroy him, AJ, Hobbie, Sidne, Bria, Brandon, SG and myself would all cease to exist and I'm not about to commit...septnal suicide...(I made that up just now, can you tell?)...I INSIST that someone else kill Iain so that my life insurance will pay off.
|
shakeycat
Moderator
|
# Posted: 29 Mar 2006 23:41
Reply
What Iain doesn't know, can't hurt him.
Iain is not afraid of the dark.
Iain's armory looks a lot like your own.
Iain entered the human race, and won.
Iain makes Martha Stewart look like a criminal.
Iain doesn't hit snooze; in fact, he doesn't need an alarm at all.
|
ajcardall
Member
|
# Posted: 30 Mar 2006 02:37
Reply
Iain is often seen in bars passing up beer and spirits in favour of Mercury.
Margret Thatcher became British Prime Minister as terms of a bet she lost against Iain.
When you are in a plane that is about to crash, you are advised to put your tray table up and put your seat in the full and upright position. If you happen to be Iain, you tear a hole in the cabin, jump out, and show that ocean whose boss.
Iain invented running water, and the cat.
Iain shaves using an assault rifle
|
